do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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