i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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