btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
