Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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