i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
