And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
