my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
