Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
