The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
