it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
