is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Two words: blizzard sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
