Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
