So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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