That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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