Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
