So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
