it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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