but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
