Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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