Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
NoShamevember. You game?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
