Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dignity is for republicans.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
