im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
