i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
