He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
