My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
