Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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