I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
