there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
