Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this boner is exhausting
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
