i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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