idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
