dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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