If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
