you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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