dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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