It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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