No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
