There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I deserve this hangover.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
