We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
