She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
