dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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