Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
