I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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