I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
