My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
