How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
