Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
