Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
