I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
