operation harelip BJ is a go
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
