okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
