her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
