you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
